You’re so negative…

I swear I’m going to scream if one more person says I’m being negative just because I don’t have the same opinion as them, disagree with them, or express myself differently.  

One of my favorite paraphrases: “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it as his own,” is my favorite because it touches on this very thing! How we should be able to accept the differences of others, and not condemn someone because they are different in thought and/or expression. To be able to listen to another’s truth, understand that point of view, separate from your own point of view, but not need to take it on as you’re truth. To still be able to hold a conversation, or a friendship, despite the difference in opinion or belief. That as individuals, we should be mature and secure enough in our own truth and beliefs so that we’re not thrown off-kilter the second someone has an opposing truth, or makes us feel uncomfortable with their form of expression.

Not to be confused with cognitive dissonance where a core belief is so strong that when presented with evidence that goes against the belief the new information cannot be accepted, because it’s so important for the person to protect that core belief at all costs, they deny anything that doesn’t fit into that core belief.

This is where all the New Age trends can cause issues. People are being shunned with comments like “positive vibes only”, or “you’re being negative so you’re not for my highest good” and then push those people away.

This one really irks me: you must forgive. People are considered negative if they choose not to forgive. Or if you express your anger you’re now a negative person (unless it’s for a cause then it’s more acceptable [insert eye roll]). Disagreeing apparently makes you negative as well, according to the spiritual community.

This form of “shunning” is detriment to those who struggle on this journey. It causes people to not talk about their struggles and hide their pain. I always think of Eeyore in this situation. He’s depressed and gloomy all the time. That doesn’t make him negative. It’s just how he is. And everyone lovingly accepts him for who he is despite his issues. I wish more people were capable of holding space for someone to be authentic in all their glory.

This “everything that isn’t positive is negative” reaction comes off as defensive. Maybe they’re just uncomfortable with their own negative feelings and rather than looking deep within and asking themselves why it upsets them, or diving deeper into the opposing truth to see if it may resonate on some level, they just call it negative and push it away. I guess it’s easier that way.

I had to look deep into why this trend drove me so crazy, myself. I felt unacceptable despite my authenticity. I felt others were judging me unfairly without knowing me on a deeper level. I was triggered internally because it felt discriminatory. I felt very angry that people were hell-bent on misunderstanding me and skewing my words then calling me negative just because I saw things differently. As a way to deem me not “good enough,” or wrong in some way. I didn’t like their judgement of me because I do not see myself as negative just because I see things differently.

Spirit tells me what everyone considers “negative” is not negative at all. Everything is on a spectrum where it varies from extreme to subtle. None of which is bad or good (according to the spirit realm). What everyone considers negative is actually low vibrational. Anger is low vibrational. But, that doesn’t make it bad or negative unless used in a negative way. Anger gets shit done. Anger lets you know when your boundaries have been crossed or that things need to be changed. Anger contains passion. Anger is a call to an injustice. Anger can be used for good.

True strength lies in the willingness to embrace difficult energies: doubt, shame, fear, heartache. To be one’s truest Self is to allow yourself to be unfiltered, wild, unpredictable, offensive, inappropriate, messy, impulsive, horny, volatile, emotional, sensitive, depressed, angry, dangerous, pensive, aloof, needy… The fact is that most people can’t handle that kind of authentically dynamic intensity.

I’ve been working with energy for a very long time and I’m very aware of my own energy field and vibration. I noticed when I’m in crisis mode, survival mode, angry, or if I’ve been shaken to my core, my vibration is actually very high. I’m sure that’s probably a trauma response.

What affects your core vibration is the amount of awareness and gratitude you have. How in touch and aligned you are with your true Self. How much work you’ve done removing the conditioning and limiting beliefs in order to bring awareness to your soul self. Not how positive you can be in a moment, or pretending you don’t have any shadows. That’s spiritual bypassing. This is where integrating your shadow creates authenticity that raises your frequency. Healing raises your vibration. Being authentic raises your vibration. Your emotions are a indicator of where your vibration is at.

The soul-shattering journey of self-work allows you to understand and integrate your fire. It allows us to hold space for ourselves and others instead of finding offense and pushing away what we call “negative.” This is true soul work. Those that call everything negative has not done full soul work.

Everyone’s vibration varies from high to low. It’s on a spectrum, just like our emotions. You will carry both at any given time and it will vary from moment to moment. No one is “untouchable” because their “vibe is so high”. Life lessons and core beliefs will affect that core vibration. Momentary emotions don’t alter your core vibration unless you are stuck in that state for a long time. Your personality is also not your vibration.

The “positive vibes only” crap out there perpetuates segregation and discrimination. Labeling others as negative or positive or high vibrational or low vibrational does the same thing. Being authentic in every version of yourself emotionally, mentally, expressively is being in alignment with who you really are. The more authentic you are the higher vibrationally you’ll be. So, express away!

Until next time, thank you for reading my ramblings.